This blog is focused on the men in this world who may or may not feel the same way I do. Please feel free to lend me your support or just advise after reading this blog. Is love enough?

Is love a fulfilling feeling or is it perceived as for the moment?

are there still men out there who are looking for love or the feeling they receive from a woman that is?

Is it me or is Scott Bao full of shit?

would U rather be 45 and single?

do you consider your self single at all in life?

do you feel overwhelmed from the ratio of woman to men?

there"s a saying that the world doesn't like a know -it- all. especially when they believe they sit above the rest of their circle just because the past was kind to them. when u compare it to the future and present, when its no more a factor in how u live to day that's when they should come down off that high horse and enter the realm of reality. to sit above is to look down. if U have to climb on every1 backs to do so then u don not deserve and have not earned that position. reality is a mother f{+k*r. never caught your self pissed off about something you saw coming when you never  thought about it before. the answers are staring us in the face people. yes your first thought is the best one. makes me think when i look back just how precious is time anyway. if its so precious why do i waste it when i could be doing something better with it. why do we need company to waste time anyway and never can find anyone to do anything productive with in order to preserve time. these are my thoughts at 12:19 a.m  eating crackers wondering why i even pick up the phone.

Wow Its been some time since i actually put words and thoughts to this blog page. There has been some changes to my apperance and also my growth since the last time I said anything on this page. I was working for the 40/40 Club for 1 year and i just recently left from that position. Alot of peple were thrilled to know that i worked at a place where you know who might pop up @ any time. However, the atmosphere in that company is triph(sp) seriously, no people skills at all. the waiters, bartenders and managment are great when it comes to helping and working with strangers, when it comes to working with the staff you see everyday ( 120 hrs in 2wks) then thats another story. when you work 15hrs on a job it some how becomes your second home. no loyalty in that spot and no appreciation for the staff time & dedication. i dont think you know who knows what's actually going on with managment but he needs to take a look at the woman running his buisness. either a law suit or violence can only become of the treatment of her workers. i guess if u come to party then its great, you go to front then thats the spot for you, if you want to work then pass on by because no experience needed and no lessons learnt from there. any job you work for you should be able to walk away from with a lesson learned or taught. the only lesson i learned is not to waste another year. whats even funnier..... I'm not even a fan....

NAS Baby!!! LMao

Quote  how many people read these blogs anyway and y

okay

Okay

so i finally seen my boyfriend do to the fact i work  alot. i would'nt say to much (god for bid) however i do work alot and this does cut into our time together. i feel bad about it then i think about it. spending the time that we do make for each other now is alot better than spending a whole lot of time together broke i must admit. now we can do more (even though we just want to be in each others arms) it must be rough for him knowing that i am surrounded by the best looking men in nyc however he believes in me to do whats right being as though i never showed him that i have any intensions on doing anything wrong. better yet anything that he or i would not approve of( that sounds better i had to remember that i am grown) i think about the possibilities of him stepping out of the relationship. i attempt not to think about it much because everything always comes out in the wash and plus it doesn't make sense wasting time thinking about somethings that you don't know. if you have to guess then you should say next is my moto. any way its early as hell and i just got in from work. i got off early and so i walked around manhattan looking for a nite club to go to just to kill some time and it dawned on my how much nyc sucks. i thought nj was bad but i couldn't find one club in nyc. granted it was like 3 in the morning but nyc is suppose to be the city that never sleeps. i guess i just been out of the club seen for a while.(anybody knows some good nite clubs, a variety of music let me know) shit i was unemployed for a minute,  things seem to be working out for me and i am glad that it is. soon i will be able to put pictures on the blog page. i could now but i dont want old photos. i want new and improved photos.

 

Okay

so i finally seen my boyfriend do to the fact i work  alot. i would'nt say to much (god for bid) however i do work alot and this does cut into our time together. i feel bad about it then i think about it. spending the time that we do make for each other now is alot better than spending a whole lot of time together broke i must admit. now we can do more (even though we just want to be in each others arms) it must be rough for him knowing that i am surrounded by the best looking men in nyc however he believes in me to do whats right being as though i never showed him that i have any intensions on doing anything wrong. better yet anything that he or i would not approve of( that sounds better i had to remember that i am grown) i think about the possibilities of him stepping out of the relationship. i attempt not to think about it much because everything always comes out in the wash and plus it doesn't make sense wasting time thinking about somethings that you don't know. if you have to guess then you should say next is my moto. any way its early as hell and i just got in from work. i got off early and so i walked around manhattan looking for a nite club to go to just to kill some time and it dawned on my how much nyc sucks. i thought nj was bad but i couldn't find one club in nyc. granted it was like 3 in the morning but nyc is suppose to be the city that never sleeps. i guess i just been out of the club seen for a while.(anybody knows some good nite clubs, a variety of music let me know) shit i was unemployed for a minute,  things seem to be working out for me and i am glad that it is. soon i will be able to put pictures on the blog page. i could now but i dont want old photos. i want new and improved photos.

WELL I KEPT POSITIVE AND FOCUSED ON FINDING THE JOB THAT IS RIGHT FOR ME AND WITH THE GRACE OF GOD I FOUND ONE.

I HAVE ONE OF THE HOTTEST JOBS IN THE CITY RIGHT NOW. IT'S NOT ILLEGAL, I DONT HAVE TO TAKE OFF ANY CLOTHES, SEDUCE ANY MEN (OR FEMALES), OR LOSE MY DIGNITY.

I'm Back

I'm really considering quiting school. i need the time and the oppurtunity to find a job that pays well and that i can mantain to the best of my abilities. i prayed to the all mighty and he has blessed me with this seasonal job that i will attempt to keep after the season is done.

i am also looking for another job because i dont think i'm going to have enough hours in order for me to achieve what i want for myself. so i will pray again. i usually dont ask god for things personal for myself. i was then told by my mother that the only way god can hear you id if you ask him/her for the things you want. she always said " closed mouthes don't get feed". so i began not only asking the lord to watch over the ones i love i also asked for assistance. the things that i cannot change alone.

and yes it was answered. i didnt know what i was about to do if i didnt get this oppurtunity.

i know when the sun rises i will be out looking for this second job. if anyone reads my blog

keep me posted for job oppurtunities.

GOOD EVENING

It hasn't been that long since i last typed my beliefs on my web space. I had a chance to view other web spaces and I was very empressed with them.

Anywho!

School has been a breeze for me however every other aspect of my life has not. Friends seem to take alot out of me. my family on the other hasd seem to have finally grow up. No Complaints as well as all smiles when I seem them, If I ever see them. Cant complain there.

My very best friend that i haven't been keeping contact with is doing well. I proud of all my loved ones.

I do have another friend who seems to like playing both sides of the field

You know how you may have a friend who is friends with someone that you may not like.

Well I have one of those.

To be honest I dont have a reason to not like this person, However i have a strong belief not to like her and I will roll with that feeling aslong as I still have it.

It's more like

I dont know if any of you guys ever started talking to someone that everyone either wants or had.

It's very stressful to walk among wolves covered in sheep's blood.

It could be my paranoya

or it can be that when we walk through i see that sparkle in her eye. Like she's reminising on some good D*#K.

It's that i recognize the look ( shit sometimes i have the same look) and it makes me lash out.

Anyone who knows me knows that  I have no Paitience and Low tolerance to Anger.

Its my trade marks If you could only see what she looks like, I'm no Drop dead ,gorgous chick  and i guess i do attract both sides of the sex ( not many can say that) But DAMN.

He keeps on saying "but that was b4 you" and my favorite statment " she only got 15 pumps". (That one is a classic)

It still bothers me.

I dont how i can get over that shit. every time i see i just want to jump in her area and PLUMIT her to SMITHEReens.

He is Sexy as hell yall.

He goes through it too. His fellas or other guys rolling by would make him mad because they look.

But all my Ex's are far and they dont come around any more (Bad Break Ups) so he dont have to worry about that uncomfprtable feeling.

Any Who!

I just need to get that off my breast.

He just walked in here thinking i was in school ;startled that i was home ;so he could use the bathroom ,since his brother and him was driving by. the same brother that tried to get with me on several occasion. Tried is an understatement. He tried to grope, through his tongue down my throat

Know like i said a couple of sentences ago.

I dont think i'm some Americas Next Top Model but if you read my entry before but that type of shit always happens to me. I'm not going back to that depressing shit.

Anyway My babies home and i Have to give him his quality time before he start kicking and whining (I do like that shit,  it's cute).

I'm Blessed and I'm Alive so for the rest of the day

I WON'T COMPLAIN!

My First Entry

A friend of mine put me onto this Blog space that msn has provided for its consumers. I thought that if i created one it may help with my communication issues that so many people say i have.

one of the first things i realize is that you cant please two people at the same time. that one's self and another person. someone will always be left feeling incomplete. i've come from along line of people pleasers and we are the worst. no self of being or control of one's destination. just on to the next person with a problem.

i'm not a difficult person.i just hate stupid s#$t. i was never a favor for aggrevation ,my life needs no more of that.

this has been a long road traveled. i must say it has made me one hell of a Lioness. Cunning and Calculating.

i've been approached by many in my life time. many have failed or fell victim to my truth. some hide behind my love and others just hide. they all want the same thing. whether its male or female.... .....?

SEX!

i cant exscape peoples thirst for satisfaction. its tired some. people actually get mad at me because i dont come around much. well if people would stop tring to jump my bones as soon as i approach them then i might come around more or even want to hold a conversation with the majority of the world.

by no means do i feel stuck up or conceeded (spell Check) nore do i give out that ora that thats what i want.

i guess this Blog is some what theraputic for my self. i do have alot of confusion in my cipher that i would love to get rid of. i know that it definetly stagnates me to the point of no growth with my self.

well this is my first entry however, it won't be the last.

if i offended any one by this Blog. if you may have taken it personal due to the fact that you know me and it seems like I'm talking to YOU!.......

I probably am

get over it !